Spring 2004

World weary and wondering why

Personal / May 27th

Zen, where have you gone? Moods swing up and down, even for guys. I am, at the moment, in one of those angry moods where you get pissed off by little things that happen in a day, and the way things are, and the world, and the news, and The Man, etc. Maybe I should start a rant section, but I think it would only serve to fuel these feelings rather than deflate them. I find that when I am in a state of general patience and acceptance of the world I feel better. Not in the hindu cow/sheep sort of way, more in the Zen master sort of way. That I can exist in the world and be whole and not feel pressured and stressed by the shortsightedness of many, many other people. That is little consolation to me now, since I want to hunt random people down that annoy me and reinvent the word desecrate with my actions. Deep down I know it is fleeting, but I have always used my Journal to records events rather than emotions, with a few exceptions. Maybe a rant page would be interesting content, maybe I can write about these annoyances without feeling driven by the emotions that well up when they happen. Maybe, maybe not. We'll see.